It takes confidence to rest

With the first week of the new year ending, I wanted to share with you all about what this past year has taught me. I was encouraged at the beginning of last year to meditate on a word that I wanted to be at the forefront of my year. The word that I chose was one that I have struggled with for quite some time…. That word was confidence. I want to share with you just a few things I learned about confidence or better yet, what was revealed to me.

1. My confidence was never in my ability. Let me explain, I was not the source of my confidence, I cannot create confidence within myself. You know when you do well on a project that you have worked so hard for, you just get that sense of pride, but then it flees like it was before. Yeah, same, but then I realized that I was putting confidence in my abilities over God’s abilities.

2. Confidence is not the lack of doubt but trusting in who God is despite the doubt. Doubt is inevitable, and at times that can be at the very forefront of your brain but trusting God despite the doubt is confidence.

3. It takes confidence to do just about anything, and I do mean literally anything.

The verse that I meditated on this past year was Isaiah 30:15, “This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “in repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and confidence is your strength, but you would have none of it.” Depending on the translation, confidence is substituted out by trust. Strangely enough, the word that I have chosen for this year is also in this verse, which brings me to my new word, can you guess it? Rest.

I chose this word for several reasons, and here are a few of them. One, I have been in school my entire life, I feel as though after receiving a master’s degree I should probably take a mental rest. Two, I am not very good at sitting still, which is why I continued school. My body, my mind, and everything in between is in constant go-mode. Physically, I need to slow down. Three, I know what rest is, but I don’t know how to do it well. I’ve never done it in a way that God wants me to.

In all honesty, I tried changing this word several times. It just never seemed to be elaborate enough. I mean its rest… but God kept popping it into my head, and here’s the reason. Are you ready for this one? It takes confidence to rest. How? You may ask. Well, think about it, if you were in a battle where you are at a stand-still from the fighting and you needed rest, you have the confidence in your fellow soldiers to keep you alive long enough for some rest. You have the confidence that they will protect you no matter what. It takes confidence to rest. This was one of those things that I just know that God was trying to prepare me for. Without my meditating on confidence and learning what that means, I could never truly rest. Without trusting YahWeh and His timing, I could never rest. God was preparing me….for this year, for this season.

The verse I have chosen to meditate on along with the word is Hebrews 4:10, “For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His.” It takes confidence in God to step away from your work and just be in His presence. It takes confidence to say, “I am not at a place where I can effectively continue on in this work.” It takes confidence to take a break in your life even though you are not where you want to be. It takes confidence to rest. God rested on His seventh day from creating everything that we see, know, and love. God, someone who never sleeps and literally can do anything, rested. This is because that resting symbolized that His creation was perfect, and it was finished. You know when you work on a project and you keep staring at it and keep critiquing it until honestly it's just a bunch of nonsense that you don't have any idea how it got that far. Yeah, well, the same for me at this moment. I could easily go back to school and continue with education, but I would never be able to do it the best of my ability because right now in this moment, that is not where God wants me. I need to take a rest from this part of my life, get some perspective, and then retry again when the time is right; but without that confidence, I couldn’t have ever done that.

I want to encourage you to meditate on a word this year. Whether it is something you struggle with, or something you just need a little more of; find a word, find a verse to match, and allow God to teach you things. You never know what the outcome will be.

Thanks for reading,

Em

Below are a few pictures of my graduation, this was what I was working toward the last few years of my life, and now that it is done, I am excited to just breathe and rest.

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