Let it go?

Have you ever gotten into the random mood where you wanted to clean your room or your house, and then someone comes in and comments on the fact that you are cleaning your house and ALL motivation goes out the window? Yeah, been there. It’s like I have this under control why even comment on it, now I have to sit in this mess because you decided that you wanted to say something about it.

I think we all have struggles with some form of control. We start isolating ourselves off and bracing for impact before there is anything to worry about. Or we stay in our comfort zones because we know exactly what is going to happen and when and why because we can influence it. Or when our timeline doesn’t work out exactly how we wanted, so we kind of just walk around aimlessly and numb until all motivation is gone. There are a lot more examples of control, but these are mine. The ones I have personally done in an attempt to lessen the blow of the world.

I used to hate the phrase, “just let it go.” Yeah, me and Elsa did not vibe very well. I hated it because people never tell you how to let it go, it was said like it was common knowledge. Like you come out of the womb and you can just instantly let things go. Well, if you’ve ever been around a baby for very long, you will see that once they have something in their fists it takes an act from God to get them to let go. The mom is apologizing, the baby is laughing, and you are sore from your hair being ripped out of your head. You thought it was a good idea at the time to play with the baby, make them laugh, and then all of a sudden they have you. The same with us and our control issues.

Our control issues start to become our safety nets instead of something to motivate us forward. They start to become a sanctuary that you can go to and feel in control. You are now in your comfort zone, no judgement no people, just you and your control issues. You are now isolated and blocked off from others, never allowing them in, and never wanting to hear them.

Let’s take a very popular man from the Bible. Jonah. God gave him a task to do and instead of doing what God asked he ran for the water. My first instinct will NEVER be running towards any body of water, but me and Jonah are obviously two different people. Jonah had heard about the people in Ninevah and he said absolutely not, because he was more comfortable staying away from that place and never talking to them. So, he gets on a boat causes storms, and ultimately ends up in a fish. A fish. I would have died if a fish just came up and swallowed me whole like I was nothing. But Jonah was just relaxing. Jonah ended up completely off-course and created more problems for himself rather than just doing what God originally told him to. Jonah wanted to be in control of his life. He wanted to do what he wanted to do, and he wanted to do it when he wanted to do it.

Some of us are struggling with the concept of letting go. We think that we are fine where we are, that it may not be the best thing we could be doing, but we’re okay with it. Or we may not even know exactly what we need to let go of yet. Or we’ve noticed that we are isolated but we don’t know exactly how to return to civilization or how we got there.

Let me tell you my version of Jonah. There are no big fish, but there is a person running away from God because they thought they knew better. That person is me. Not so long ago I was at an all-time low in my life. I was struggling with the concept of who I was and who exactly God was in me. I was taking matters into my own hands and I was directing my life. Instead of walking with Christ every day, I started spending once a week with him, then it turned into none. God allowed me to walk away and try to do this thing on my own. Immediately, I had storms. My grades dropped, my anxiety skyrocketed, my relationships were failing, my passion was diminished. I was totally lost and consumed, and I had the nerve to yell at God for allowing it to happen. But that is when I saw His heart. God showed empathy, He showed love, He was a safe place. Unfortunately, everything that happened to me was still happening. I still had the effects of my control, but I had peace, joy, and overwhelming love. God showed me that His ways are better than my ways.

So, am I telling you to “let it go.” Yes, but I’m sharing to you about some of the things I’ve learned about HOW to let it go.

-First, I had to know where my issues lied. What was the source of my control. I found out that the source of my control was isolation of myself. I wanted to prove to people that I could handle anything and never seem like I was struggling. I pushed myself away from people to make it seem I was never weak. Yet, I was drowning. Maybe your issues lie in a relationship, or school, or work. Really pray to Him about revealing that source to you.

-Second, I had to re-learn who God was. I had to get into my word, and allow Him to teach me who He is, so I can better learn myself. God showed me that everything good in this world was planned according to Him. He created everything good, including you.

-Third, I had to allow God to be God. We often want to change God to better suit our needs, but God knows our needs better than we know our needs. I read a book recently that said, “No one understands a creation better than the one who created it, (Ben Stuart)” God created you, so wouldn’t he know you better than you do?

-Lastly, be kind to yourself. God never expects you to be perfect and He created you. Why should you expect perfection when you had no influence on your creation. Be generous to yourself, be kind to yourself, show yourself some grace, and give yourself a break.

Now, please don’t get me wrong. I am still struggling to this day with allowing God to do what He needs to so that I can walk down His path, but I can tell you, 4 years ago (when I ran) if you were to tell me where I am right now, I would think you were lying. If you were to tell me 2 years ago (when this blog was more of a thought) where I am right now, I would think that it was too hard. Now, here I am, walking in this journey, not really understanding exactly where this may lead, but praying and believing for God’s impact. This isn't easy. I know you can read something and believe it but execution is hard. This takes discipline, it takes learning, it takes desire. You have to want to let go, to let go. Trust your God, and trust His ability to aid in this journey.

Thanks for reading,

Em

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PS: here are a few verses to remember if you are feeling a little control freakish...

Proverbs 16:1: The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.

Isaiah 55:8-9: For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

2 Corinthians 4:8-10: We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

2 Peter 3:9: The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.